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  “Fine,” she said.

  “Hey, I called Simon. I told him you were here.”

  “What?”

  His statement broke her from her analytical state of mind, woke her up to the real and present existence. She shook her head a little at Conrad but when she saw Kevin wasn’t very impressed she rolled her eyes.

  “He said he’s coming over. You should go look for him. If you see him tell him to find me and we’ll talk.”

  “What?” she asked again. She had heard him clearly but the simple explanation was too much. She got to her feet.

  “Where are you going?” Kevin asked.

  “I’m going to try and avert a crisis,” she said.

  She walked from the room and Conrad turned to Kevin, placed a hand on his thigh and leaned towards his cheek.

  “That got rid of her,” he said. “Why don’t we show these redneck fucks how us faggot queers kiss?”

  Kevin was repulsed by what Conrad said but he was also interested in the sentiment and there was little he could do as Conrad leaned into his lips and kissed him. For a moment he wanted to stop and get out of there, to run away and maybe, just maybe, bring Conrad with him but there was also great comfort in having someone else there, someone as bold and dangerous as Conrad. He felt the warmth of him, the pressure of his lips and slick but strong tongue. They grabbed at each other but Conrad was easily in the lead as he pulled Kevin up onto his lap and pressed one hand into his crotch, the other ran up under his shirt and held him as they kissed.

  Neither of them thought of anything else for a long time and they kissed and touched each other until it felt like something had broken in the air. Kevin worried the wrong people had noticed but for Conrad it was something else, for him it was wanting more privacy to do the things, all of the things, he so desperately wanted to do.

  Conrad took hold of Kevin’s hands and pulled him from the couch. They walked together through the rest of the party goers, some watched them with sneering looks, others didn’t seemed bothered at all. They moved down the hallway until they reached the stairs and Kevin stopped. He wants to go upstairs, he thought, I know what happens upstairs at parties like this.

  “Come on, it’ll be fun,” Conrad said. “You were having a good time out there in front of everyone.”

  Everyone, shit, what a thought, gay and now he had been flaunting it in this small town, there has to be someone waiting with a baseball bat or maybe just a good punch to the nose. It will be dangerous just getting out of here. He was lost in thought which made it easier for Conrad to pull him along, up the stairs and down another hallway. They pushed their way through a partially open door and turned on the lights.

  Kevin saw the large bed, decorations, and immediately recognized it was the parents’ room. He let out a nervous laugh as Conrad pulled him into his chest and kissed him. They fell onto the bed with their shirts up in their armpits, belly to belly. Conrad undid Kevin’s belt, reached for the sides of his underwear. Conrad rolled his head back on the bed cover and looked to the dresser where earlier he had gone through the box of jewelry there. He smiled because it was gone, it was his, locked away in his trunk. He could have everything he wanted.

  “What the fuck?”

  The deep, accusatory voice broke through the sounds of them kissing and went right to the fear centers of their brains. They both stopped and looked to the doorway where Josh Kleinman stood with his shirt off and holding onto the frame. He had gotten larger since the incident on his front lawn and bolder too.

  “Who the fuck are you?” Conrad asked.

  “I’m Josh Kleinman. This is my house. This is my parents’ bedroom. Now get the hell out you sick bastards.”

  Kevin pushed himself up, found his pants were loose and fastened his belt as Conrad sat up and pulled down his shirt.

  “Now,” Josh said.

  “Okay, okay,” Conrad replied.

  “Sorry,” Kevin offered.

  “Not fast enough,” Josh said.

  They looked to each other and then to the doorway where Josh stepped into the room but to one side to make way for them to leave. They stepped past him but Kevin couldn’t take his eyes off the larger man, not because he was shirtless but because he was the other guy. There should be a scar right, and then he saw it. He saw the scar on the young man’s stomach.

  “What the hell are you looking at?”

  Kevin looked away, turned into the hall and followed after Conrad. They moved slowly as they looked back to see Josh survey the room and then lock and close the door. They were halfway down the hall when they heard, “fucking queers.”

  They made their way back downstairs, well away from the threat they began to laugh. Conrad pulled him to another door but this one was locked.

  “Give me a credit card,” Conrad said.

  “I’m not sure this is a good idea,” Kevin replied.

  “Do you want some privacy or not? Oh, fine, I’ll use my own.” Conrad pulled out his wallet and found a thick, plastic card. He bent down to the door and worked it for a few moments before he popped it open. They entered quickly, closed the door and turned on the lights. It was the home office.

  “What are we on a tour of the place?”

  “Just relax,” Conrad said.

  He pushed Kevin to the chair and got him to sit before falling down to his own knees. He buried his face in Kevin’s crotch. But it was all too fast for Kevin.

  “Oh god, I can’t do this, I’m sorry.”

  “What?” Conrad asked.

  “I’m sorry but this, that, us. I can’t do it. I’m in a relationship. And even though he said it was okay I just can’t. I mean it’s not you.”

  “You have me all worked up, we broke into someone’s office, and now you don’t want to do anything?”

  “It was fun. I liked kissing you but this, you, down there. I just can’t.”

  Conrad sat back a little, punched the area of the chair between Kevin’s knees and shook his head.

  “I’ve got the worst case of blue balls,” he said.

  “Well, that’s not actually a real thing,” Kevin replied. “Now would you please let me up? I think I should be leaving.”

  Conrad got up and walked to the door, rubbed at his crotch and moaned in pain while trying to convey his best impression of sadness. Kevin bit at his own lip but continued out and into the hallway.

  Chapter 27 - Perverts

  The quickest disguise Simon could come up with at that moment was a baseball cap and an old leather jacket that he had bought at a thrift store in town against what would have been his mother’s wishes. He looked at himself in the mirror and didn’t like what he saw but for a moment he didn’t look like himself and maybe that was enough to fool the townsfolk. He dashed out of the house, turning off every light he passed, and went to his car. Heather was at Lucy’s party.

  What if they met? What if they talked? What lies would Lucy tell? He knew he had to get there and stop them, to try and explain. What could he explain? It was a long time ago, they were barely teenagers. Lucy liked to tease him and he liked to watch. His mother caught him. He thought about Josh on the porch in his boxers, the fight they had the following school year, and thrusting the knife into him. I’d do it again, he told himself as he started the car.

  He pulled out in a panic, gave it too much gas, gravel spit out from under his tires and he could imagine his mother’s complaints. She would have criticized him about each thing, maybe threatened him about not acting properly, maybe she would have hit him, and he would be reduced to tears. He blinked too long and realized he was holding his breath as he came to the end of the drive. He came to a complete stop and inhaled deeply. He counted to three and took another breath. It was one of the techniques he had been taught in the detention center. He continued until he felt things were almost normal, turned on his blinker and proceeded out onto the road at a much more controlled speed.

  It was an easy drive to Lucy’s house but the street was crowded with cars
and he had to drive around the block before he found a spot to park. Maybe it was better that way, he told himself, maybe I shouldn’t go through the front door. He got out, locked, up, and looked around at the houses with their porch lights on and mostly darkened windows. He picked a spot between two houses and walked across the lawn and into some trees, slowed when he felt he was completely hidden. It was like that night so many years ago.

  He could hear the party in the distance as he walked through the thicket. There were sounds of dance music, young people screaming and yelling. He worked his way through, not paying attention to spider webs and branches, until he reached the edge and he stopped before he got into the light at the back of the house. There was a pool there where there hadn’t been one before. He could see young men and women in it, running around the side, and they weren’t in swimwear. They were in their underwear. They mostly looked like college students, some maybe younger, but there was no one there over twenty-five. None of them were Heather. He rolled his eyes at the sight before making his way along tree line until he was at the side of the house.

  When he felt like no one could see him he slipped out and walked along the house and back towards the pool. It would have looked weird just emerging from the trees but this way he’d look just like one of them, he told himself. No one seemed to notice him as he got the backyard so he headed for the sliding glass doors. He stepped past a couple who were talking in the doorway smoking cigarettes and drinking beer and into the house. He had never actually been inside so he had nothing to compare it too but it felt strange being there. It was like he was stepping back in time.

  The house was crowded. He thought for a moment that he should try to blend in by getting a drink but it felt silly. At a party like this he would have been a wallflower anyway and he didn’t want to stop and have people recognize him. He had a mission. He was there for Heather. He was less than half done with the first floor when he saw the flight of stairs leading up the second floor near the back of the house. He decided to go up but when he got the top of the stairs he had a moment of regret. What would she be doing up here? But he pushed through it. He walked along the hallway, peaked in through any open door. He head giggles and voices but none of them sounded like Heather.

  Many of the room doors were closed and he didn’t try them. He passed a few people waiting in line at the bathroom before getting to a second flight of stairs that led back down. He took one last look before he headed down. He went from room to room but he couldn’t find her. He started back to the other rooms he had checked when he thought he heard someone say his name. He lowered his head and kept walking.

  When he got back to the sliding doors where he had entered he began to panic. He grabbed at his face in frustration and balled his other hand into a fist. His hand came to rest down over his mouth and that’s when the people he had passed before who were standing in the doorway recognized him. They motioned in his direction as they said something to each other. He was spotted. He knew it. He could feel everything change. He turned and began to walk away, through a hall and towards the front of the house. He knew he had to get out before more people saw him. He bumped into someone at the front door but pushed his way through only muttering an apology as he stepped onto the porch. He closed the door behind him but there were more people on the porch. I’m screwed, he thought. He was panicked. He was afraid. And that’s when he saw Heather. She stood in the lawn on a high spot looking out at the street. He made his way to her and called out her name. She turned to him and smiled.

  “Are you okay?” she asked.

  “I’m fine. Are you okay?”

  She nodded.

  “You shouldn’t have come here,” she said, “but I thought you would.”

  “I don’t know why I did. I just, when he said you were here, I got worried.”

  “Everything is fine now,” she said.

  She looked to the front door as it opened and people began to walk out.

  “Did anyone recognize you?”

  “Yeah, but we’re not going back in there,” he said. “Are you?”

  “No Simon, but look,” she said.

  He turned and looked back to the front door to see a few more people step out and then he saw someone that struck fear into him. It was Lucy. She was angry and followed by some other young women and men.

  “We have to get out of here,” Heather said.

  Heather and Simon began to retreat but the lawn was big and Lucy and her comrades moved quickly so Heather and Simon picked up the pace.

  “Run you pervert,” Lucy shouted. “Go ahead and run! This is my fucking birthday party and you weren’t invited. We don’t want any perverts here! Get out you pervert.”

  Simon and Heather go to the edge of the lawn but stopped when they realized they were unsure of where to go next. They began to move along the street and the crowd followed them.

  “Somebody call my brother,” Lucy called out. “Where’s my brother?”

  It felt foolish to be chased away in such a slow, determined way by Lucy who wouldn’t be intimidating alone but with a crowd partially made up of young men it wasn’t something to try and fight. Simon and Heather turned and began to run.

  “Where are we running to?”

  “My car is around the block,” he said. “We have to outrun them around the side.”

  They turned a corner and began to run along the road past houses. Some of the pursuers broke off from the group, cut through the lawns and began to yell out his name. They threatened him and cursed him but they didn’t approach too close. Maybe there was something of value in being considered dangerous after all, Simon thought as they ran. It was easy to get away from Lucy, a few of the separate pursuers got lost in the darkness. They made it to the road where he had parked and began to run faster when they spotted his car. They ran to different sides and he rushed to unlock it but as he opened the door he looked around, surprised and slightly amused no one seemed to be around. They got into the car. He started it, checked his rear view mirror, and pulled out before turning on his headlights. He started to drive fast but Heather cautioned him to slow down and it was a good thing she did because a few blocks away a cop car passed them going the other way.

  Simon looked in the mirrors expecting the officer to turn on his lights, do a U-Turn and come back after them but the cop didn’t. Simon turned a corner, another corner trying to lose some pursuer who wasn’t there. Heather told him to pull over so he did. She told him to turn off his lights and put the car in park. He did.

  “You shouldn’t have gone there,” she said.

  “Why did you?”

  “I was curious. I wanted to see what she was like.”

  “And?”

  “She’s cute but definitely not worth stabbing someone and going to jail,” she said.

  He let out a nervous laugh and looked to his hands as he shook his head.

  “I didn’t stab him because of her. I did it to protect myself,” he said.

  She took hold of his hand and pulled it towards herself.

  “Let’s go back to my place,” she said.

  Chapter 28 - Muffled Screams

  The party was over. It was after four in the morning and everyone had gone home, a few stragglers lingered in the shadows, and only one guy that Conrad could see was passed out on the floor in his underwear and sucking his thumb. Conrad laughed at the sight of him feeling glad that he had only a drink hours ago at the beginning of the party with Kevin.

  That was a good time, he thought, as he remembered the feel of Kevin’s warm body as he ran a hand up his shirt. Kevin was almost ready, he mused, it wouldn’t take much more to get him naked. Conrad made his way through the house to the living room where he found DJ sitting on the couch with a beer in his hand.

  “Hey buddy, I’m glad I found you here,” Conrad said.

  DJ nodded.

  “You seem pretty wasted. Do you have my money?”

  DJ smiled.

  “Are you okay?”


  DJ nodded and rubbed his hand on the side of his jeans where a lump protruded from the denim. He was clearly drunk, intoxicated. Conrad moved and sat beside him as close as he could, thigh to thigh and side to side.

  “Why don’t I get you out of here?” Conrad asked.

  DJ looked to him.

  “Don’t worry about it. I’ll drive you home. I know where you live, remember.”

  Conrad hooked his arm around DJ’s back, pulled DJ’s arm up over his shoulder, and readied himself before he began to pull DJ from the couch. It was surprisingly easy to get him to his feet but they staggered a little as DJ leaned into him too much. Conrad had to use every bit of his muscles to keep them up.

  “I need you to walk,” Conrad said.

  DJ seemed to find his feet and steadied himself a little. Conrad looked around for help but there was no one else around. There was no help here, he thought. He grabbed at DJ’s side, felt the muscle and skin through the thin shirt and it was enough to get the man moving. They walked through the house, out the front door, and stepped onto the porch. DJ leaned against him and he struggled to keep them both on their feet.

  “Are you okay?”

  Conrad raised his eyes to the familiar voice and saw Kevin was there and he was with someone else, a young man. The new person was skinny and wore glasses, a narrow face. Another gay boy, Conrad thought, no doubt interested in Kevin after the time they spent kissing in public, sometimes things pay off, just for other people. He stopped himself from saying the first thing that came to his mind.

  “Could you help me? My friend here is drunk.”

  Kevin and his friend made their way to them. Kevin stepped to the other side of DJ and took his arm over his shoulder. Conrad adjusted his hold and they began to walk with the new young man following after them. For once Conrad was happy there were no steps to the porch. It’s the little things, he thought. They struggled with the weight of DJ as they walked him to Conrad’s car. Kevin held him as Conrad fished the keys out his pocket. He looked to Kevin who grimaced at some further conversation, some excuse. He looked to his compatriot, his accomplice, being held there and for a moment he saw the man’s weakness and it got him a little excited. He felt stimulated.