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  “It’s not like that,” he said, “I’m a very monogamous person.”

  “But do you have a future with Thad? What if he never comes out? What about after college? I don’t want to be rude but he is older.”

  “See that’s what he was saying but things are different now. I’m not saying immediately but soon, maybe a few years and it’ll be different.”

  She lowered her head at the comment. It would be a struggle a few years from now too, she thought. She dried her hand on her pants and moved to the bed where she got herself another piece of pizza. She wanted to offer him another too but stopped herself. In many ways coming out was easier than his anorexia, she thought. He had to deal with his sexuality but eating, that was something else. No, she told herself, no judgments.

  “It might get easier,” she said, “but you never know. It puts a lot of stress on a relationship.”

  “So I should just quit?”

  “No, I’m just saying it’s unpredictable, and besides you said he was encouraging you. He just doesn’t want you to have regrets.”

  “But we’re not talking about another student or someone with a job, this is Conrad, Simon Winters friend from juvenile detention. He’s a criminal.”

  “Reformed,” she said.

  “Hardly,” Kevin said. “He’s shady.”

  “He’s dangerous but sometimes those boys are the best,” she said.

  “Oh yeah, who was your last dangerous boyfriend?” he asked.

  “Do you remember Al Reese?”

  “You didn’t?”

  “Jerked him off in the back of bus,” she said.

  “Really?”

  “Short dick but it was a lot fun. No one ever found out. He didn’t tell anyone, which is kind of surprising.”

  “No one would have believed him,” Kevin said. “I still kind of don’t.”

  “Yeah well, it was a momentary thing. He knew there wouldn’t be a relationship. I think he forgot about it soon after.”

  “He didn’t forget about it, trust me. He just didn’t say anything, probably gave him a lot of confidence.”

  “By the next summer he was dating Rachel Hinkle.”

  “I don’t know her.”

  She shrugged her shoulders.

  “The point is that it didn’t mean anything. We moved on afterwards.”

  “So you’re saying I should?”

  “I’m saying nothing is certain. Maybe you’re going in two different directions.”

  He let out a grunt of frustration and got to his feet, walked away and around the bed, stopped at the bookshelf. She watched as he moved his finger across the spines of the books and waited.

  “It’s not that answer I wanted to hear,” he said.

  “I’m sorry but it’s the truth. If it was different. If you’re boyfriend had a job, maybe you two could move somewhere or something but this doesn’t sound like that could happen. I mean aren’t you leaving after you get your degree? I would be.”

  “I’m not sure,” he said. “It’s not something I think about. I get stressed when I do. It’s like graduating high school all over again. I hate the idea of having a job and paying bills.”

  “Did you think you’d stay here and what? There aren’t any good jobs.”

  “I know. I just kind saw us living together or something.”

  “Maybe you need to talk to him. Does he want that?”

  He shrugged his shoulders. She stuck her thumbnail between her teeth as she tried to think of something comforting to say to him but the best she could come up with was changing the subject to her own dilemma.

  “I’m still thinking about Simon,” she said. “I can’t stop.”

  “His mother is dangerous,” Kevin said.

  “Which is why I can’t stop thinking about him. He’s such a nice guy, really sweet, and he’s in this bad situation, worse than mine.”

  “He’s not a stray dog or cat. If he was he’d be like one of those evil ones in the movies, or at least cursed, you know.”

  “He stabbed someone in self-defense. Okay, maybe his mother is a killer, and maybe she attacked me, but if I could get him to leave her or commit her to some insane asylum...”

  Kevin looked to his hands. He looked to his feet.

  “Don’t you want to know more?”

  “Like what?” he asked.

  “Well, guess what I heard?” she asked.

  “What?”

  “Lucy Kleinman is having a party.”

  “And?”

  He turned to her and moved back across the room as she turned away to her computer where she stopped the screen saver and looked at the monitor.

  “I want to crash it.”

  He winced but moved closer. He saw on the screen Lucy Kleinman’s personal page and her announcement for a party.

  “How did you get this?”

  “It turns out I’m friends with someone who is friends with someone. It doesn’t matter. She’s basically inviting the whole town.”

  “We wouldn’t know anyone,” he said.

  “Come on aren’t you curios to see her, see what she’s like? Don’t you kind of want to see her, out of some morbid curiosity at least?”

  “This isn’t a good idea,” he said. “I hate parties.”

  Chapter 25 - Dance Party Plus

  It was pure desperation many days later that Conrad called DJ for one last favor. It was the fifth time in one day when he answered. Conrad was in his bedroom and had just finished masturbating.

  “I thought I told you not to call me,” DJ said.

  “I’m sorry but I need your help. Look I can cut you in I just need someone with cash. I’ll even do the hustle myself and still give you a cut.” Conrad looked down over his body and the mess he had made on his shirt.

  “How much?”

  “Ten percent,” Conrad said. He wiped off his hand and relaxed against the pillow.

  “Fifty percent,” DJ said.

  “Twenty-five,” Conrad replied.

  “Fifty,” DJ replied.

  “Okay, but I sell for top dollar.”

  “You’re not going to get top dollar in this town but I can get close.”

  “Call me back with the where and when,” Conrad said.

  A few minutes later he received a text message from DJ with an address and a note that said it was a party. Conrad nodded at the prospect but he began to worry. He hated working parties, especially as a stranger, but a party meant lots of people, lots of drunk people who might have cash. He texted back that he would be there.

  It was a long wait until the party but Conrad managed to keep himself busy and distracted for the most part until the final hour when he had to shower and get dressed. He decided to look stylish but casual so he dressed in his cleanest, most expensive clothes and shoes. Only after he pulled everything on and he felt like he was ready did he feel the anxiety about what he was going to do.

  No one knows me, he told himself. No one knows a thing, they can’t place me at that apartment and they don’t know any other bad thing I’ve done, as long as they didn’t have the gun, but a simple ballistics check... Yeah, if the police ran a check they might connect him to the shooting in the city but that was miles away and they’d have to have reasonable suspicion anyway. If there was ever a night he had to tow the line and behave himself it was tonight. Just one drink to calm the nerves, he said to himself, just one drink and maybe a bump and it will even out.

  He copied the address from the message and pasted it into his phone’s GPS direction application. It wasn’t far away but he’d still drive. He walked past Simon in the parlor on his way out and thought to say something to him but he decided he didn’t need the extra hassle so he went on without him.

  In the car he felt worse so he took a pill from the bottle and bit it in half, chewed up the part in his mouth and dropped the other in his cigarette box before he lit one and started his car. He suddenly realized just how dark it was and turned on his headlights. He shook off the col
d and the eerie feeling.

  The drive was easy and he pulled to the end of the block past the other cars and parked on the side of the street just in front of stop sign. He had spotted the party house easily and made his way back to it. He called DJ as he walked.

  “Hello,” DJ said.

  “Hey, it’s me. Where are you?”

  “I’m at the party.”

  “Okay, meet me out front, I have the pills and some weed.”

  He ended the call and made his way up the sidewalk to the lawn where he looked up at the house. It was large and well shaded with lots of trees. It had a lawn and lots of space between it and the other houses. He spotted DJ headed his way and pulled the bottle from his pocket before walking to him. They met in the middle of the path and Conrad handed over the bag and pulled DJ close.

  “Remember I know where you live,” Conrad said.

  He tried to pull away but DJ stopped him and pulled him back to whisper in his ear. DJ was surprisingly strong and mean.

  “Don’t try to scare me faggot,” he said.

  That was a blow to his ego and it stunned him for a moment as DJ walked away but he decided it wouldn’t stop him and it wouldn’t make him angry. He walked slowly up the rest of the path to the house as he thought about his options. He had given most of the pills to DJ to sell. He’d try to sell a few if he could, if there opportunity presented itself but he suddenly had another idea.

  Conrad entered the party with a mission, to make as much money as he possibly could, and with a house this size, the quality of furniture and decorations there were new objectives to find out what was expensive and how to steal it. DJ would be good on his own. He knew people. He was a townie, so they didn’t worry about him working for the cops or looking to burn them for the cash with fake drugs.

  He began to make his way from room to room, giving each one a quick walk through. He was in the entertainment room when he spotted the two familiar faces of Heather and Kevin. He waved to them and they waved back. They were wallflowers and stuck together. He thought to leave them but decided to be polite and go say hello. He made his way to them and stepped close because the music was loud.

  “How’s it going?” he asked.

  “Hey there Conrad,” Heather said.

  “Hey,” Kevin replied.

  “Some party,” he said. “I guess everyone in a small town shows up to these. It seems like everyone is here.”

  “We’re not staying long,” Heather said.

  “We just came for a drink,” Kevin added.

  “Really? I was hoping maybe we could dance later.”

  Kevin shook his head and Heather looked between the two of them out to the center of the room where a few heterosexual couples danced.

  “This isn’t a safe place,” Kevin said.

  “People don’t know you’re gay?”

  “Oh no, they know I’m gay but they don’t tolerate it.”

  “Too bad, but don’t let that stop you. We should hang out while you’re here. I need to go check on a few things but I’ll be back.”

  Heather and Kevin looked to each other and Conrad turned on them. He walked away through the crowd, out of the room. There was only one closed door in the hallway and he made his way to it. He checked to make sure no one was around and tried the handle but it was locked. The door was thick and dark but the lock was simple. He double checked no one was around before he took out a plastic card from his wallet and undid the lock, pushed his way inside and closed the door behind him. He turned on a light to find he was in a home office that looked like it had been decorated out of a catalogue, complete with a large globe of the earth in a corner.

  There has to be something here, he told himself, loose cash or maybe some jewelry. He spotted a small, wooden humidor on the desk and opened it to find it was full of cigars. He took one out and sniffed it, bit off the butt and made his way around the desk to the chair where he sat. He pulled out his lighter and lit the cigar before trying each drawer. They were mostly full of papers and office supplies but the center drawer was locked just as he expected. He tapped on the desk a few times impatiently and sat back as he puffed on the cigar. He felt the impulse to spin so he began to do so when he saw the large window and the open blinds behind the desk. He jumped to his feet and peeked out but there was little to see except the neighbor’s house so he closed the blinds and was about to go back to the desk when he thought about Simon.

  He took his phone from his pocket and sat. He dialed Simon’s house and he answered on the third ring.

  “Hello, Winters residence, this is Simon.”

  “Hey man, it’s Conrad and I’m at this party and you’ll never guess who I saw.”

  “I don’t know. Who?”

  “I saw Heather. She’s here with Kevin. You should come over, apologize or whatever you have to do.”

  “Why would I apologize?”

  “I don’t know but I guess you did something wrong. She was around all of the time and then she’s not so I figured something happened. Besides it’s a party and it would do you some good to get out of that house. You can’t take care of your mother for the rest of your life.”

  “I don’t know.”

  “There are a lot of people here, even if you don’t get back together there has to be someone who would give you a chance.”

  “You don’t know this town.”

  “Everyone keeps saying that, but all these little places are the same. Don’t forget I used to live in one just like it.”

  “Maybe but it doesn’t mean I’m coming,” Simon said.

  “You should check it out. These people are loaded. I might need an extra hand carrying out all of the loot.” Conrad tried the center drawer again and felt it give a little. He was about to pull out his knife when he saw the ornate letter opener and picked it up. For a moment he was about to jam it into the opening of the drawer but stopped himself when he decided it was too pretty and might be worth something.

  “What? If you get caught stealing they’ll arrest you, or worse.”

  “No one is going to catch me. It’s too easy. I’m in this guy’s office. I guess he’s the father and there isn’t much so far but I found a locked drawer and they always have something in there.”

  Conrad pulled out his knife and opened it. He stuck the blade into the opening and worked it until the lock and wood popped and he could pull the drawer open. There before him was an envelope thick with cash and two rings. He picked up the cash and began to count it.

  “Holy shit,” he said. “Who would just leave this stuff lying around?”

  “What? What is it?”

  “Close to five hundred dollars in cash and some rings.”

  “Leave the stuff there,” Simon said.

  “Not a chance,” Conrad replied before he pocketed the cash and the rings.

  “Where are you?”

  “Are you going to come help me or are you going to call the police?”

  “I want to see Heather,” Simon answered.

  “Good choice, I’m at some chick’s house named Lucy Kleinman. It’s supposed to be the biggest party of the year. I’m surprised even you don’t know about it. I doubt the neighbor’s even care. Are you coming?”

  “Yeah,” Simon said.

  “Good, I’ll keep Heather and Kevin from leaving. One way or another him and I are going to have a good time.”

  Simon ended the call and Conrad shrugged before he tried to stick the letter opener in his pocket only to realize it would jab his leg. No, the told himself, I have to think bigger, there has to be more free stuff in this house, Lucy and her mother have to be loaded and maybe they have the same security as dear old daddy. He placed the letter opener back to near where he found it.

  “I’ll be back for you,” he said.

  He got to his feet and began to walk around the rest of the room. There was nothing else obvious so he made his way to the door where he readied himself in case someone was on the other side in the hallway. He opened the
door and peeked out to see a couple pass by in the hallway so he waited before opening the door and exiting.

  Chapter 26 - Somewhere Private

  The rest of the house was just as easy for Conrad as the office. He forced the lock on Lucy’s bedroom, her parents’ bedroom, and her brother’s bedroom. Even though it looked like neither her nor her brother had lived there in years there were still little things like jewelry and mementos. When his pockets got too full he found a cloth bag amongst her brother’s possessions and emptied his pockets into it. At first as he walked with the bag he worried someone might see him and know what he was doing, but then he remembered, no one knows anything. I’m just another stranger to them.

  Though he felt he had anonymity on his side he still hid as much of the bag as he could against his thigh, partially behind his back, and all of the way out to his car where he dropped it in the trunk. For a moment he felt like leaving until he tapped the bottle in his pocket and he remembered DJ, and Kevin.

  If Kevin was still there he was someone worth going back for to corrupt, he thought. He smiled and closed the trunk, headed back to the party. He found Heather and Kevin just about where he had left them. They looked even more desperate and lonely than before when he had seen them. He went to get three drinks and for a moment he thought about slipping something in Kevin’s but decided against it because it was too easy to lose track of the cup or get it spilled.

  He walked up to them and handed them each a drink. They thanked him and he invited them out and to another room that he had found in his search that was quieter and had less people. The two of them welcomed the change and he led them to a couch where he sat between them. He downed half of his Tequila laced punch drink and looked to each of them in turn before settling on Kevin.

  “So,” he said.

  Kevin smiled and shook his head.

  “You don’t give up do you?”

  “Only when I’m dead,” Conrad answered. He suddenly turned to Heather who drank slowly from her cup and looked out at the party as if she were analyzing it. She had found what she wanted when she saw Lucy, everything else, everything after was just boring extras.

  “How are you doing?” he asked her.